When my heart & mind are heavy sometimes I have a hard time knowing where to start. Or how to start explaining what I am thinking & feeling. Not really having the words to express the emotions running through me. Tonight I feel sad. I feel grief. I feel hurt. I feel all of these because I am thinking about the 1st anniversary of my miscarriage. Nov 5th is the day I found out I was pregnant with our 3rd child & Nov 8th is the day I miscarried. I feel such grief over the child I never got to hold, or kiss. I still don't understand why, I know I probably never will. I don't understand much about this last year & all of the trials that I have gone through. But I do know that God has a plan in all things. Even when I don't understand, I know His ways are better!
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I had so much more that I wanted to post but my pain meds are kicking in so I am going to call it a night. I will leave you with this song by Ginny Owens, it was by far one of my favorites in high school! Just today I started singing it & I know that it's a God-thing that He laid this song on my heart & on my mind. "I will go through the valley if YOU want me to!"
(Don't forget to pause my player on the bottom before playing!)
"If you want me to" by Ginny Owens
The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
'Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone (yeah oh oh)
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the sufferin' Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to
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I had so much more that I wanted to post but my pain meds are kicking in so I am going to call it a night. I will leave you with this song by Ginny Owens, it was by far one of my favorites in high school! Just today I started singing it & I know that it's a God-thing that He laid this song on my heart & on my mind. "I will go through the valley if YOU want me to!"
(Don't forget to pause my player on the bottom before playing!)
"If you want me to" by Ginny Owens
The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
'Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone (yeah oh oh)
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the sufferin' Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to
Praying for you tonight sweet friend. I understand how you feel. We lost a baby five years ago and I still feel the ache and longing. There are no words to say to take away the pain but I am here and praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you today too. I have never felt the loss that a miscarriage brings and I cannot imagine. I know your heart longs for another baby. Trust God to bring you the desires of your heart another way. He is always good.
ReplyDeleteI love that song by Ginny Owens. It spoke to me alot during my years of infertility.
Love you
Thank you for sharing this. I think that it is hard for some of us to understand. We try to. We can feel bad, but listening to this song and reading your thoughts helped. I, too, have had a miscarriage. I also had a 5 year time period where I couldn't get pregnant. God knew what he was doing. I didn't. It was hard. I was sad. All I wanted was another child. Now I have a large family.
ReplyDeleteI feel that with all you do, that you are a great blessing to the children you have.
I appreciate all you share. It really does help me appreciate all I have been blessed with. You are amazing.