I will start off with a disclaimer that I realize there are much worse things going on in this world than what I am dealing with...you know earthquakes in Haiti, war in Iraq & Afghanistan, world hunger...just to name a few. But right now I just need a place to lay it all out there & hey it's blog & I will cry if I want too....
I am beyond frustrated & blessed all at the same time. This week we found out that some missionary housing became available with our new church, Shades. (This is the blessed part!) We are beyond ecstatic, this means the GD isn't having to drive back & forth everyday making him exhausted not to mention draining our bank account on gas! The hard part is he is gone from Sun-Thurs, coming home late Thurs night & going back on Sat. (This is the frustrated part!) It's only been 2 days I am done with this! As much as a HUGE blessing it is, it's also so hard on our family. The kids are having a hard time adjusting, not to mention the fact that it makes me a single parent for a few days. This is not really good for our family, however I know that the Lord is providing what we asked of Him. I am trying to remember that & be thankful, even through gritted teeth.
On top of it all I must say I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I can't be fully involved or invested in Shades yet because we aren't there all week. I can't get into a bible study or a mom's group because the logistics of me driving an hour & half one way for an hour or 2 meeting just doesn't fly. At the same time, I thought I would try going to our former church on Wednesday nights, but it just doesn't feel right. It's hard to have people constantly asking me, "Why are you here? I thought you left." I know they have good intentions but... Plus it's hard being some where my husband was on staff but is no longer. It's just a difficult transition for me. For us. I am ready to be there to get involved & get to know people. It's hard to not feel like you belong anywhere.
I do know for sure I belong in the loving arms of my God. I know that none of this is a surprise to Him. I know that this is what He has called us to do. I know that He has already proved Himself time & time again that He will provide for us. So in my frustration I will remember that I do belong to Him.
I am beyond frustrated & blessed all at the same time. This week we found out that some missionary housing became available with our new church, Shades. (This is the blessed part!) We are beyond ecstatic, this means the GD isn't having to drive back & forth everyday making him exhausted not to mention draining our bank account on gas! The hard part is he is gone from Sun-Thurs, coming home late Thurs night & going back on Sat. (This is the frustrated part!) It's only been 2 days I am done with this! As much as a HUGE blessing it is, it's also so hard on our family. The kids are having a hard time adjusting, not to mention the fact that it makes me a single parent for a few days. This is not really good for our family, however I know that the Lord is providing what we asked of Him. I am trying to remember that & be thankful, even through gritted teeth.
On top of it all I must say I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I can't be fully involved or invested in Shades yet because we aren't there all week. I can't get into a bible study or a mom's group because the logistics of me driving an hour & half one way for an hour or 2 meeting just doesn't fly. At the same time, I thought I would try going to our former church on Wednesday nights, but it just doesn't feel right. It's hard to have people constantly asking me, "Why are you here? I thought you left." I know they have good intentions but... Plus it's hard being some where my husband was on staff but is no longer. It's just a difficult transition for me. For us. I am ready to be there to get involved & get to know people. It's hard to not feel like you belong anywhere.
I do know for sure I belong in the loving arms of my God. I know that none of this is a surprise to Him. I know that this is what He has called us to do. I know that He has already proved Himself time & time again that He will provide for us. So in my frustration I will remember that I do belong to Him.
