Lonesome

I was working on a whole post about life being monotonous but that has just been thrown to the side for now. I have to tell you how heartbreaking the last 15 minutes have been. Drew just came in my room & said, "I miss Daddy." And it wasn't his typical whining, I could tell this was a heartbreak cry. So we called Daddy & Drew just cried with him on the phone about how much he missed him. I can only imagine not having his Daddy here honestly makes him feel like his world is crashing down on him. How do I continue to try to explain it to a 4 yr old why Daddy has to be away? I can't even begin to imagine how hard it would be if Daddy didn't get to come home every weekend. It is such a heartbreaking thing. I don't know what to do to make it better for him.

The sad thing is I wish I could just sit down right beside him & cry with him. I miss my husband. I miss not having him around all the time, even if we are both just on our computers surfing the internet. I miss him not coming home to us everyday. For whatever reason I think we have all had one of those days where the distance just catches up with you. Most days I am okay, or I just don't allow myself to think about it. I just plug on ahead being strong because that's what I have to do for my boys. But sometimes I just can't hold it together anymore. I would keep typing more but Drew is still crying so I need to go console him, at least to get him to sleep.
I miss the other half of my heart.